I hit a milestone on Sunday, July 30th, 2017. It was my 30th birthday, my Golden Birthday. I am no longer a 20-something, searching for her way and her place. I'd like to think I'm moving towards a 30-something who makes her own way and her own place, who is no longer waiting for it to be given to or created for her.

But I'm definitely not where I imagined I'd be ten years ago.

I've been in a kind of denial about it since July. Now all of a sudden, it's the middle of the next April, 31 is now much closer than 30, and I feel stagnant. Like I'm holding myself back, but I don't know why anymore.

So I'm making a change

I've never been able to totally jump into the new years resolutions deal because, to me, my new year starts on my birthday. My next birthday is just over 100 days away, so I'm challenging myself to commit to putting myself first at least once every day for the next 100 days. It's a #100daychallenge for self-love and goal-conquering, and I'm calling it #100DaysOfSunshine to illustrate that my primary goal is to recapture and to nurture the aspects of my passion ambition that feed my Sunshine.

100 Days of Sunshine

Commitment

I picked out 3 Life Areas of Focus to prioritize my goals and to specify the Sunshine I want to nurture in my life. I chose Health, Creativity, and Hustle.

If you're joining me in the challenge, I recommend choosing 2-3 Life Areas of Focus. These areas should reflect one role in your life. If you're a student and you want to focus on your studies and academic performance, you can pick "Academics" as one; or if you're getting ready to graduate and you're looking at internships, entry-level positions, or grad school options, you might pick "Jobs" or "Grad School", or simply the career title you aspire to or the name of a company you want to work for, or a business you may want to start. The area should be specific enough that you're not trying to combine your mother-role goals with your home-improvement goals. The areas you choose can also be a general project that you're working on that can be broken down into tasks/projects over the next 100 days.

Next, within each of my chosen Life Areas of Focus I defined my Do it Daily Goals and my Whole 100 Days Goals. I decided to divide it up this way because I know that there are routines that I would like to develop within each of my Life Areas of Focus that will help me work towards growth on a daily basis, these are my Do it Daily Goals. Any other general goals or benchmarks that I want to conquer during this challenge are my Whole 100 Days Goals.

Two-fold Accountability Method

To hold myself accountable for being consistent in working towards these goals in my 100 day challenge, I created a simple tracker in my bullet journal. I made 3x3 boxes for each of the 100 days in my challenge and dated each one. So it's like a calendar but not divided spatially by the number days in a week or by month. To establish a visual division of the days, I outlined my start date and the 1st of each month in a deep purple, weekends in lavender, my upcoming vacation in mint, and weekdays in light grey.

The Method
First, I will shade in one column on the day boxed for each day when I work towards the goals in any life area. For example, if I work towards my Health goals, I will shade in the first column on the appropriate day. If I also work towards my Hustle goals but not my Creativity goal, then I would also shade in the third column of that day but not the second. If I work towards goals in all three of my Life Areas of Focus then that whole day's box will be shaded in. That's the goal!

Second, I will bring you along for the ride by posting about my progress on my social media, specifically my Instagram, Instagram Stories, and here on my Blog. It's a challenge about self-love and growth, so I have to challenge myself to grow outside of my comfort zone. That's the goal!

Join me on the 100 Days of Sunshine Challenge

Sign up for the PeriodicalSunshine (in the sidebar) and you'll receive a special link to my FREE 100 Days of Sunshine Commitment & Tracker PDF worksheets.

Follow me on social media and join in on the challenge to uncover and nurture your own personal sunshine! Let me know in the comments how you want to improve the most important area of your life.

What a journey it has been

I have struggled with nail biting and picking for as long as I can remember. Having torn up nail beds, tiny nibs that can barely accept polish and have been bitten and torn so low that my nail beds are consistently exposed, puffy, red, and painful, was something to which I had grown completely accustomed. It was my every day. I always longed to have smooth, long nails with smooth an clean cuticles. I have tried so many topical solutions, and so many habit interventions. But the thing I have learned is the most important in quitting a habit like nail biting is that habit changing is an everyday and active task. Once I wrapped my head around this concept, I was able to implement interventions to help me cut the habit. I've been rocking my own beautiful, strong, natural nails for two years now.

...and this was a good day

I've had this habit for as long as I can remember, so my nails have pretty much looked like this for my whole life, or worse. The most salient part of it was the pain, my fingers always hurt. I would peel the nail off way below the end of the nail bed. It would swell, redden, and be extra sensitive for the next few days. My cuticles and the ends of my fingers around my nails were also always ragged and dry.

And I always wanted beautiful nails like my mom's. She tried to take me to a salon once to get acrylics put on, hoping that would stop me from biting and picking at them. I'll never forget the looks in the nail technician's face, my nails were too short for acrylic nails to attach.

I didn't find these until the last few years, but they're one of the best options for press-on nails. I recommend using the press-on glue plus a dab of regular nail glue for maximum longevity.

So, I decided to find a way to get a similar barrier placed over my natural, mangled nails, without the public shame. That's when I discovered press-on and glue-on nails at the drugstore. I would save up money from chores and allowance hoping that if I could just get something to cover my nails for a little while, then I could grow out my own nails, and in the meantime I would have little canvases to practice nail art. I never liked the approach of rubbing pepper or something around my nails because it just felt weird always having what felt like dirt all over my fingers. It felt gross and like I couldn't use my hands.

I liked a lot of Sally Hansen ones, but this has always been my favorite because of the sheen and the weight of it on my nails. It is also really easy to control and doesn't get too think and gross like a lot of them as it gets older.

I tried to avoid actively quitting the habit throughout my adolescence and most of my twenties—masking them with fake nails, hoping the avoidance would just quit itself. I tried numerous nail growth serums and strengtheners. They worked to the extent that I could leave them on my nails without picking it off.

The habit was unconscious. I had to learn what my triggers were and how to stop the compulsion.

Cutting the habit

Over the years, I figured out my pattern. The habit was a combination of a stress or anxiety reaction, a mindless grooming habit that stemmed from a desire to have smooth lines around my nails...even though, or maybe especially because, they were always all ripped up because I picked at, bit, and tore up my nails and nail beds.

I had to create and learn and instill a positive habit or pattern. I had to make a concerted effort. So I came up with a couple of lists, one for habits I want to foster and the other for habits I want to release. I wanted to stop biting, stop picking, stop scraping my nails against my teeth, and stop mindlessly or intentionally doing any of it. To tackle that habit I implemented a trick I learned in a Sports Psychology, it's called a Stop Cue. It's pretty self-explanatory. The trick is being active in your moments, when I noticed that I was starting to pick at my nail beds or scrap the edges of my nails around my mouth or my nails, I literally would just say "STOP IT NICOLE!" At first it honestly worked better when I did say it aloud, but if I was with people I decided not to sound like a crazy person and said it in my head, but loudly.

I also added some regular pamper time. I found a couple of brands of press-on nails that lasted for at least a week, so I started giving myself a manicure once a week. I would soak my nails in a bowl with a little epson salt and essential oil. I used cuticle oil and creamy hand lotion, and pushed back my cuticles. I learned about crystal nail files that don't dull. I learned that clipping your nails weakens them, so regular grooming should be done with a file instead of a clipper.

Then I would apply the press-on nails. When I used the IMPRESS nails, I used the sticky tabs that were already on the nail plus a drop of regular nail glue to make them last for 7-10 days. If I washed dished a lot that week, they'd start coming off earlier, but if I wore gloves while I washed, then they'd last their maximum longevity.

The first hurdle was growing them out past the end of the nail bed, then past the end of the finger. Once I grew them out I'd apply a shiny top coat or nail strengthener to keep something on them that wasn't a fake nail. The barrier helped me resist nibbling and picking at them. Eventually, I was able to manicure and paint my own normal length, natural nails. It felt amazing when I realized it had been a year since I started mindfully cutting the habit of biting and picking at my nails.

There were a few back-slides, but I kept with my manicure routine and using my stop cue, and I continue to get past them all. It's been three years now. Sometimes a particularly stressful, or anxiety-inducing situation will result in a couple of nails being trimmed down orally, but now they're even harder to get at with my teeth. They've been getting stronger because I've been letting them grown longer. When I'm mindful of my hands, I can stop myself from picking at them. Changing this habit has been one of the biggest and longest challenges I've faced in my life. I've learned what they mean when they talk about the power of intention. I always thought that idea was a little misleading, but I get it now. If I set my mind to something, all I have to do is do it, then it's done. Let me know in the comments if you've struggled with nail biting, or if there's another habit that you have been wanting to change, and what you have done or want to do about it.